Concerning Children

Many years ago Solomon penned the formula for successful child rearing:"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it," (Prov. 22:6). Today men have many different ideas and opinions concerning the appropriate way to raise children, and we can see the awful results in our present society. Many have shunned God and His word concerning children and they wonder why their kids turned out so wrong. Someone has correctly said, "The most dangerous thing for children today is the example set by the adults." We need to get back to the Bible and back to God if we want to make things right. We must heed God's word if we want to raise a generation that is successful in God's sight. Let us examine the wise man's formula for successful child rearing.

Diligence

"Train up a child..." Any type of training takes diligence if it is going to be effective. As parents, we must be actively involved in our children's lives. I have heard much talk of spending "quality time" with children. Indeed we must do this, yet this statement is often made with respect to quality verses quantity. In other words, "Let me work 60 or so hours a week and I'll make up for it by taking my kid to the park." This strategy is seriously flawed because children need to know that they are loved. And they need to know that they are more important than their parent's career. Don't leave your child to be raised by a babysitter, or worse a television set. Spend time with your children every day. Mark out time in your calendar especially for them. Be diligent in your efforts. "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother," (Pr. 29:15).

Perception

"...in the way he should go..." As parents we need to understand that all children are not the same. Therefore we should not treat them the same, nor expect the same things out of them. Now there are some standards which are constant. These include respect for adults, submission to parents, and submission to God. If a child is not taught to respect the parents he can see, how can he be expected to respect the God whom he cannot? We need to teach our children to go in the way of the Lord, to walk in the light, and to seek the path of wisdom. At the same time we must understand that all people are not given the same abilities and talents. We must know our children well enough to encourage them to pursue the proper course for their lives. A person gifted with artistic ability will not be happy working in a factory, nor will an intellectual, yet a person with mechanical aptitude may be perfectly content in that environment. What is important is that we as parents teach our children to make the most out of the abilities and opportunities that God has given them. Any talent may be used to the glory of God, it is our task to help our kids realize their potential.

It is common today to see kids and parents over-scheduled. A child can have so many activities that he is unable to excel in any. I have seen children who cannot stand to sit still. They feel bored if they are not involved in some activity. This attitude is detrimental to spiritual health. People need time to relax, to think, and to simply rest. We need time to meditate on God's word, as well as time to consider our own path. Children need activity (we don't want to encourage laziness) but they also need restraint. As parents we must give them choices of things which will help them become what God wants them to be. Yet we must not let them get so busy that they don't have time for God. "Do not overwork to be rich; because of your own understanding, cease!" (Pr. 23:4).

Faith

"...And when he is old he will not depart from it." If a child is truly brought "up in the training and admonition of the Lord," he will be given a firm foundation on which to build a successful life. This will not rob him of his will to choose, it will merely encourage him to make the correct choice. Our responsibility as parents is to instill the love for God, and the truth of God's word in their lives early on. It is ultimately up to each individual to make the choice of whether or not to serve Him. Many parents who have been diligent in training their children have blamed themselves for their children's failure to follow God. This is not right. Yet on the other hand, some have placed Christ in second or third place in their lives (may as well be last- Col. 1:18) and then wondered why their kids are unfaithful. It takes faith to please God. And it takes faith to raise godly children. We must be diligent in our part, and trust God to do His. Consider the example of the prodigal son. Certainly this father has raised his son right, yet ultimately it was the son's choice of how to live (Read Luke 15:11-32). Place God first in your life if you want your children to do the same.

Much more is said of children and parenting in the Bible, and especially in the book of Proverbs. God wants us to take the job of parenting seriously. Don't leave your child's mental training solely to the school system and don't leave his spiritual training only to the Bible classes and sermons. It takes more than these to make a truly successful child (Rd. Deut. 6:6,7). "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord," (Ps. 127:3).